Disciplining your Child
For one to be a good parent there is need for them to discipline their child when necessary. As a parent you should explain your expectations to your child and if they go against the rules that have been communicated then there are consequences. Consequences are not meant to harm the child or instill fear in them but rather to encourage behavior with positive outcome. It should also be noted that discipline is not punishment.
Reasons why discipline is better than punishment.
Punishment is about overreacting. The urge to punish comes from within when you feel hurt by your child’s behavior—you’re looking to strike back and inflict this same pain, often overreacting to the situation. In the heat of the moment, Mom or Dad might lash out in anger or impulsivity, even raising a hand to a child, instead of taking a deep breath and assessing the situation objectively.
Punishing doesn’t teach lessons. Once you’re caught up in the punishment mindset, it’s hard to think rationally or be compassionate. And it doesn’t help your child learn right from wrong. What specific “lesson” does a yanked and twisted arm teach? But treating a child with respect, talking to him and getting him to thoughtfully discuss the situation turns his inappropriate behavior into a learning opportunity.
Most parents have the feeling that if they spare the rod they will spoil the child but it has never occurred to them that a shepherd also uses the rod for guidance and not necessarily striking the sheep. This simply means there are several ways of disciplining a child apart from spanking. First of all ensure that whenever you want to discipline your child you do so when calm and not angry with them.
Things to do Instead of Spanking
Take Time for Yourself
Parents are more prone to use spanking when they haven’t had any time to themselves and they feel depleted and hurried. So, it is important for parents to take some time for themselves to exercise, read, take a walk or pray.
Be Kind but Firm
Another frustrating situation where parents tend to spank is when your child hasn’t listened to your repeated requests to behave. Finally, you spank to get your child to act appropriately. Another solution in these situations is to get down on your child’s level, make eye contact, touch him gently and tell him, in a short, kind but firm phrase, what it is you want him to do. For example, “I want you to play quietly.
Now that you have calmed down its time for you to deal with your child. Ensure that how you deal with them is equivalent to the crime committed. You can take away their favorite toy or better yet turn of the Wi-Fi in the house and see them drop their defenses. You can also decide that they will not be watching the television for some time.
Remove a Toy
Remember–the punishment should fit the crime. If your children have been fighting over a toy when you told them to stop, the best thing to do is to remove the toy, not put the child in a time-out. Put it in a box marked “jubilee box” and every Sunday it’s a Jubilee Day and they get the toys back. But they stay there until Sunday. If your child is using a toy inappropriately, like banging it or treating it in a way that it could break, they lose it. If your child has refused to clean up a toy, like lego, they lose it.
To make this work well: Do not take away a toy that is necessary for sleeping. If they have a bunny they sleep with, that’s their comfort toy. It isn’t fair to take that away.
Lose Some Technology Time
If your child doesn’t come for dinner when you call because they’re engrossed in TV or a video game (after you have given a warning or two), they can lose some technology time. If your child has been disrespectful and rude, you can take away TV privileges for a week or iPad privileges.